Kaiba's visit with a shrink
by Aqua-Faerie
Summary: Kaiba's not being very nice to his teacher... So she signs him up with a mandatory lesson with a psychiatrist! My first fanfic. R&R, please!
1. Default Chapter

Authors Note/Disclaimer:

            Okay, well, hi! This is my first fanfic, so it might not be that good. Anyway, this is about Kaiba getting smart with his teacher, so she signs him up for a session with a psychiatrist. I don't mean to sound demanding but, R&R!!! Oh, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and suggestions are welcome.

Oh, right, now the the disclaimer, here goes: Most unfortunately, I don't own Yugioh or any of the characters in it. I'm just a HUGE fan!! (If you don't believe me, check my pen name ^_~)

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*In the classroom*

Teacher: Okay class, if you will turn to pg 20 in your textbooks, we will continue our study of-*Kaiba walks in* Well, Mr. Kaiba, glad you could join us!

Kaiba: That makes one of us…

Teacher: Sarcasm will not be tolerated in this classroom!

Kaiba: *Rolls eyes*What a hypocrite!

Teacher: Mr. Kaiba, this is the 3rd time this week that you've been late.

Kaiba: So?

Teacher: Its Wednesday!!!

Kaiba: Again, so?

Teacher: You've also been rude, sarcastic, and, for crying out loud Mr. Kaiba, every word that comes out of your mouth is full of arrogance-

Joey: -not to mention you're a big fat jerk! *All class murmurs in agreement*

Kaiba: Well, looks like the little Chihuahua has learned to bark; congratulations on your pitiful achievement, Wheeler!

Teacher: Class, all of you, I'm ashamed. Did no one teach you your manners?

Kaiba: Probably, but they were most likely too stupid to let it sink in.

Teacher: That is it! Mr. Kaiba, I believe your intolerable insolence is due to inner problems; therefore, I'm signing you up for a MANDATORY session with the school psychiatrist on Friday, after school.

Kaiba: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!?!?!?!

Joey: Nyaha, Kaiba's gotta see a shrink!

Kaiba: Can it you stupid mutt!

Teacher: ENOUGH! Both of you!

Kaiba: This CANNOT be happening! It's impossible!

Teacher: Nothing is impossible, Mr. Kaiba, and note, this is MANDATORY!

Kaiba: *Getting up* Fine. I'll be there. But know this; once I'm done with that quack, he's going to be the one needing a psychiatrist!! *Walks of and slams door*


	2. In the Psychiatrist's Office

Authors Note: Hey guys! This is ch2 and the last chapter of this story. I hope it meets your expectations, and, have a good read! Oh, but please, don't forget to review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, or any of the characters associated with it.

*In the Psychiatrists Office*

Psychiatrist: Well then, Mr. Kaiba, shall we begin our session?

Kaiba: If we must…

Psychiatrist: Okay then! Let's get started!

Kaiba: Whatever…

Psychiatrist: Now, we're going to start out with the ink blot routine, so I will show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see? Ready? Okay *shows an inkblot* what do you see?

Kaiba: An inkblot.

Psychiatrist: No no, what do you see?

Kaiba: You old fool, I see an inkblot, what else?

Psychiatrist: No, you're supposed to say what you see as in what you think it represents.

Kaiba: Fine. I see a 5 year olds pathetic attempt at drawing.

Psychiatrist: Ummm okay, I can work with that. What do you think the 5 year old is trying to draw?

Kaiba: How should I know? I'm not 5.

Psychiatrist:*Now very frustrated* Well you certainly are acting like it!

Kaiba: Well now, that's not a very nice way to treat your patients, is it? You may push down deeper my inner most thoughts. 

Psychiatrist: *A bit panicky* Uhhhh no, did it sound to you like I was saying you were acting like 5? Well, I uh didn't, I said you WEREN'T acting like 5, of course. Anyway, do you feel like sharing your inner most thoughts?

Kaiba: Y-_NO_.

Psychiatrist: Well then, umm why don't we do a word association? I'll say a word, and you say the first word that comes to your mind after I say it. Okay, lets begin. Fire.

Kaiba: Fire

Psychiatrist: Wind

Kaiba: Wind

Psychiatrist: What is the meaning of this?!?!?

Kaiba:Well, you said to say the first word that comes to mind…

Psychiatrist: Ughhhhhh *takes in a deep breath* fine. Why don't we try again? You should say a word that comes to mind that's not the word I said, okay? Alright, Fire.

Kaiba: This

Psychiatrist: Wind

Kaiba: Is

Psychiatrist: Monday

Kaiba: So

Psychiatrist: People

Kaiba: Stupid

Psychiatrist: IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?!?!?!

Kaiba: I don't know. You tell me, you're the psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist: Now *inhaling and exhaling deeply, at a constant rate* why don't we try something else.

Kaiba: Now you listen hear you stupid quack. You seem to know nothing of psychology, so you're wasting my time. However, this is mandatory for me, so listen up. You write me a good report, saying I cooperated and all that or I'll sue you for being a fraud.

Psychiatrist: You can't do that!

Kaiba: Watch me.

Psychiatrist: No- that's okay, I'll write your report. 

Kaiba: Good. I'm glad you saw it my way. It was _hardly _a pleasure doing business with you, doctor. *Walks off*

Psychiatrist: Likewise, I'm sure.


End file.
